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A device and method for becoming a man

May 14, 2014

Earlier this week, I was linked to a project to create patent applications from literary or philosophical texts. I thought little of actually using it, but I chuckled at some of the results. For example, from The Communist Manifesto, one gets A method and device for comprehending, theoretically, the historical movement.

As I said, I thought little of actually using it, but then someone suggested putting The Family: A Proclamation to the World, through it, and I realized…this is something that HAD to be done.

In trying to use this, I realized quickly that there were no executables for this program. Instead, it was a series of python scripts.

I then learned quickly that python does not come natively with Windows, so I went and got Python 3.4.

I then learned that not every app has compatibility with python 3, so I got an older version.

Then, I encountered that no matter what, the app wouldn’t process my text file containing the text of The Family. I reached out to the creator of the script on twitter, and within a day of looking at the text (I’m sure he must have been so weirded out that I was trying to patent such a document…), he said that it wouldn’t be possible to run the patent generator on this document, and that I should try something longer.

I thought that if length was a concern, I could just duplicate the text a few times so that the file would be longer, but it didn’t work.

So, that ended everything, didn’t it?

Not so fast! There are certainly other fan favorite church talks and publications!

Let me just post you one that did work, and you can guess what the talk is:

A device and method for becoming a man


A device and method for becoming a man. The devices comprises a little factory, an automatic release, a powerful instrument


Figure 1 schematically illustrates The righteous expression of this physical love.

Figure 2 illustrates any real intent on your part.

Figure 3 is a block diagram of a little factory in your body.

Figure 4 is a schematic drawing of a few vigorous strokes of the shovel.


The present invention is the instrument of your mind. The invention has a little factory in your body. The invention produces an oversupply of this substance. The device is the nature of young manhood. The present invention moves on stage in your mind. The device clear the stage of your mind.

According to a preferred embodiment, the invention becomes a binding tie in your marriage. The present invention follow the instruction in the scripture.

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One Comment
  1. What is the point in all of this?

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