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The Homosexual Lifestyle

May 26, 2011

I don’t know where I first heard it (Update: Yes I do. Comments from Anonymous signed Brian to IP’s post here), but I was reminded just a few moments ago about the one time this guy explained to me what the homosexual lifestyle is.

The homosexual lifestyle isn’t anything mysterious or ominous. It just happens when a man dates or has sexual relationships with another man, or when a woman dates or has sexual relationship with another woman.

There is always a choice to engage in the homosexual lifestyle, just as there is always a choice to engage in the heterosexual lifestyle (Invictus Pilgrim has a rather lengthy series about the pitfalls that may come with engaging in such a lifestyle). And if one wishes neither to engage in the homosexual or the heterosexual lifestyle, then he or she may always engage in the asexual lifestyle.

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13 Comments
  1. I don’t know the context of your blog post or what prompted it, but I have to say that I strongly disagree with the manner in which you have used the term “gay lifestyle”. I wrote about this here as part of a series of posts called “Dear Anonymous,” which address various Mormon misconceptions about homosexuality. Links to the full series of posts are available here.

    Though I appreciate the link, the series of posts you linked to (which is ongoing) focus on the affect on female straight spouses in a mixed-orientation Mormon marriage, i.e., where the husband is gay. The series also goes on to consider various factors that continue to lead to the formation of mixed-orientation marriages. The posts have nothing to do with gay sex or a “gay lifestyle.” Links to many posts on my blog dealing with issues relating to mixed-orientation marriages are available here.

  2. Now I remember; it was on your site! And I even responded to Anonymous there.

    Anyway, please read more carefully IP. Mixed orientation marriages show the folly of the heterosexual lifestyle, not the gay lifestyle, as even I pointed out.

  3. Sorry – it wasn’t clear to me whether you were just stating that this is what this guy thought is the definition of a “gay lifestyle” or whether that was coming from you. I also apologize for apparently misconstruing your comments regarding the folly of the heterosexual lifestyle. I had not understood this to be your meaning, and even upon re-reading your original comment, it wasn’t clear to me. Your follow-up comment, however, clarifies your original meaning for me. Thanks.

  4. And I suppose then we can also speak of the “black lifestyle” or the “Jewish lifestyle.” :- )

    I’ve never heard the term lifestyle used in a way that was not an expression of bias. Why not speak instead of the various kinds of relationships that people can have? Why do we need to divide the room into mutually exclusive “lifestyles”?

  5. I guess…keeping with the relationship metaphor, interracial is the black lifestyle?

    ….Or would that go more generally to anyone who does blackface?

  6. I just wanted to say I read the original post and I’m still confused. Andrew, I got what you were saying about “wild oats”. So lifestyle is activity?? Thanks in advance for any clarification.

  7. aerin,

    As far as I can tell, that’s exactly it.

  8. So breathing is not a lifestyle, since it is involuntary. Are thoughts a lifestyle – can a person really control their thoughts or thinking? Whatever you do – don’t think about elephants…I simply think it’s complicated – what a person chooses to do or not do. (Does this go back to our discussion about choosing belief?)

  9. aerin,

    I don’t think thoughts count. But the entire point is simple: of actionsone can choose, actions relating to relationships pursued defines the heterosexual, homosexual, and nonsexual lifestyles.

  10. What about a bisexual lifestyle? How come I never hear about that?

  11. timberwraith,

    I assume it’s because under this system, that would be cheating.

    Although, I did hear the argument that bisexuals should get to marry two people — one of the same sex and one of the opposite sex — once.

  12. What about the fact that there’s an identifiable gay culture in the US?

  13. mating signals.

    a “straight acting” or “discrete” or (whatever the term is for someone who might not fit/identify with/be a part of the ‘identifiable gay culture’) gay still lives the “gay lifestyle” by virtue of pursuing same-sex relationships.

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