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The value of a young Daughter of God

November 20, 2010

Welcome to the second edition of “Ask (Dis)Grace!” If you haven’t seen the first edition and don’t know what this is about, please, read up! The next question comes from a young LDS woman who has read some things and is wondering whether the church doesn’t value her as a young woman of God as they say she is.


Dear Disgrace:

This might sound silly, because I thought it was just a harmless movie that espoused LDS values about the value of God’s daughters, but I’ve recently come to see the movie Johnny Lingo in a different light as a result of an article I read about it by Holly Welker. (I know I never should’ve started reading the devil’s publications like Dialogue and Sunstone! And now I fear that my testimony is being taken away from me!)

I didn’t know what to think about Ms. Welker’s analysis. I thought it was touching that Johnny would offer 8 cows for Mahana to allow her to blossom into an 8-cow wife…but now I’ve come to believe  that this fairy tale represents the objectification and commodification of women in purest and simplest form.

I don’t want to lose trust in the church’s teachings…I know that apostates turn to coffee and sex and I just don’t want to do that! Help!


My, FairLady, you have certainly expressed a great deal of concerns that I definitely never raised when I was your age. What maturity! Or maybe it was the fact that, growing up as a man in the church, I’ve just never had to deal with any of that?

Nevertheless, I will try to answer your question.

Don’t you understand that men in the world believe, “Why buy the cow when you can have the milk for free?” Some of the women of the world have responded in a way that perversely devalues every son of God: “Why buy the pig when all you want is some sausage?”

The church recognizes the true value of God’s daughters…the message you find horrific in Johnny Lingo is actually to help you. Johnny recognizes that sometimes 8 cows are the price to avoid getting a licked cupcake.

Bacon, egg, and sausage cupcake

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  1. I always thought it was pretty obvious that Jonny Lingo was operating within a context of a culture that was supposed to be obviously abusive in certain ways. Jonny operates within that culture and manages to act a bit better than everyone else.

    But yeah, everyone else is acting like pigs. We’re supposed to realize this in the first few minutes of the film.

  2. I’ve heard it before, but I’m still in love to the response to “why buy the milk” line. I hope to have the opportunity to use it someday soon, because it really is genius.

    As to Johnny Lingo, yeah. And everyone laughs.

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