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Licked cupcakes and ABC Gum

July 21, 2010

chewed gum

In one of our previous discussions on the site, we got to the topic of male and female sexuality and whether the church is harsher on one sex or the other when it comes to sexual immorality. I don’t know what all we concluded, but I guess one conclusion was that the church harps on both sexes about the importance of sexual purity…and there are some interesting analogies used for each gender. I have remembered a lesson once about the importance of not …doing something…to my factory…or some such. I’m not quite sure I even knew what was going on then…but I know I have never had a lesson about licked cupcakes.

But as I was reading another article on another site, about the need for parents to talk with children about sex and bodies earlier (in a nevertheless age-appropriate manner)…something that I agree with…I was surprised to see the example of already chewed gum.

I don’t know which is worse. At least most people plan to swallow the cupcake icing they’ve licked. But after gum is chewed, most people spit it out when the flavor is gone. If you become a piece of chewed gum, you’re liable to be left high and dry on the sidewalk or under a schoolhouse desk.

Unless you have that awesome stride gum or gum that changes flavor (Berry to Mint!?!?) In that case, let your flavor shine forth?

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  1. I can’t find a copy of the article online anywhere, but Salt Lake Tribune columnist Robert Kirby once wrote a brilliant article on this topic after his daughter came home from church being told that if she ever messed around with a boy she’d be like a rose with its petals plucked off or a wad of used gum. He had harsh words for any teacher who would imply that his daughter was disposable.

    The Exponent also tackled this topic, giving a perfect “what NOT to do list” for teachers:

  2. Sounds about as dumb as the saying I heard a few times in high school:

    “When you kiss a girl, you kiss every guy she’s ever kissed.”

    Um… yeah… right…

    • that just sounds like a bowdlerized version of, “When you have sex with a girl, you have sex with every guy she’s ever done.”

      with implications for STD history.

  3. If you become a piece of chewed gum, whoever chewed you might swallow you, and then you’ll have to live in their stomach for seven years.

  4. and that’s what they mean by man and woman becoming one…

  5. The only things I remember being taught was that women wanted “pure, unsullied” men to marry, and it’s not fair to your future partner to have devirginised yourself before your marriage. In fact, I specifically remember being told that if we did “sin”, while serious, we could still repent and become clean again. There wasn’t the “once it’s broken, it can’t be fixed” nonsense that girls get told. Of course, men don’t have a hymen to break, so maybe that’s why.

    You can’t unchew chewed gum, but you can reice a licked cupcake so that no one will ever know.

    Now I’m trying to figure out what sex acts “licking the icing” and “chewing the gum” refer to…

  6. The “in fact” ought to have been “however”.

  7. I actually think there are some good reasons for stressing the chastity message with young women more than with young men. Because of physiology, women are far more likely than men to contract an STD if they have unprotected sex with an infected person than men are, and they have a greater range of STDs that produce symptoms in them. Then of course there’s the pregnancy concern. Like it or not, men and women are just different here and women undertake more risks if they have unprotected sex.

    But Mormons add to that a theological initiative when they teach that there are spirits waiting to be born onto earth and that the divine mission of women is to provide loving LDS families for as many spirits as possible. A girl who sleeps around is directly jeopardizing her divine role; a guy who sleeps around is breaking a commandment, but the potential consequences for his ultimate purpose in life are more indirect.

    That said, I do wonder how much of the emphasis on female chastity isn’t just some sick holdover from the hymen worship of yesteryear. I mean, if certain types of Muslims can still openly obsess over it, who knows what lies dormant in our own culture.

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