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The story of John Smith

April 4, 2009

So, I’m away for a fencing tournament, right (which is why I haven’t been responding so promptly for comments or posting so much), and basically, the last thing I expected to overhear was a conversation about Mormonism. And it’s the product of drinking — I’m not drinking, of course, but those who are have a lovely story about John Smith.

…The funniest part about the John Smith [my note: yes, I like how always, Joseph Smith becomes John] story is that John Smith is telling the book of mormon story with the help of plates that simply can’t be read by anyone else and must be kept very secret to some other dude because he is uneducated and can’t write…but this dude who’s transcribing for him has a fucking INSANE wife, and the wife steals all of the manuscript that her husband and John have been working on and tries to pawn it off for money.

Well, then the transcriber asks John to transcribe the part again…John claims that he just can’t do it because now God refuses to give this part of the story to him because humans don’t deserve it anymore.

And the best part…even though this is utterly ridiculous and convenient…mormons buy all of it!

So, the guy who’s talking about this also factored a little bit in my article: “So what are you?

Possibly more hilarious is this guy’s explanation of Purim: he’s Jewish, and he explains that it’s just an excuse to drink. A lot. In more words than that.

I just thought that was the highlight of my day.

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6 Comments
  1. Sounds like he watched that South Park episode about Mormons. All except for the factoid about Martin Harris’s wife being “insane.” Come on! There, I agree with the South Park assessment: “smart, smart, smart, smart, smart.” 😉

  2. I actually enjoyed the South Park episode a lot. I mean, that was a good example of how to poke fun without just making stuff up. I mean, the south park episode was relatively accurate, just a bit cynical (in a healthy way, of course)

  3. Erin permalink

    Hah, I KNEW you were going to write about this. I was sitting there thinking, “Andrew is laughing at you right now”. I don’t remember anything being said about the tablets being pawned off, though.

  4. yeah, Erin, I think that is one of the best things I get to do sometimes…just LISTEN to people talk. I probably mixed in that last part with south park (as chanson noted), or with how it actually went.

    So, half of what’s funny is that…it’s not like it’s *completely* inaccurate. But you could kinda point at every religion and do the same thing as well.

  5. John permalink

    Actually, drinking has nothing to do with the story of Purim. Any Jew who knows the story can tell you that. The fact that some do as a way of trying to celebrate it is a whole other story. And it’s not the Bible either.

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