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The Lord spoke to me today

March 6, 2009

Yes, my atheism is wrong. Don’t ask me how I know, but I just DO.

The Lord spoke to me in a way that I knew I had to be wrong about it all because it was just TOO MUCH to be mere coincidence.

The Vatican has been telling Catholics to give up text messaging for Lent, and this so resonated with me that I knew that He exists. Now, you may be saying, “Andrew S…you aren’t Catholic. You don’t celebrate Lent!”

But a tender mercy of the Lord (so this is LDS and Mormon and legitimate) has informed me (tenderly, of course) that I must give up email for Lent. You see, my phone seems to be trying its hardest to enrage me so much that I throw it at a wall. It has refused to check email; it has deleted my mobile storage database of emails; it has threatened to destroy my email account (but fortunately, Gmail keeps things set up on its server too). It must be a sign from the Lord that I must become less reliant on technology.

The Big 4 Accounting firm KPMG came by to talk about why we should join the firm. They gave us a publication called “KPMG Go” and it also spoke from the Lord in a way that touched my soul. I’ll just show you my revelatory picture.

*Public Displays of Affection aren't annoying AT ALL

*Public Displays of Affection aren't annoying AT ALL

So, there it is from practically the Lord’s auditor (you’ll see him at judgment day): stay away from those PDAs*. Anyway, I tweeted (I’m so tech savvy; isn’t it cool?) about how I am so angry at my phone because it should Just Work (TM) and yet it Doesn’t, and I’m going to eventually ditch it and go to something that Just Works (like maybe a BlackBerry or an iPhone!)…but then a friend @replied me (and since I’m actually not tech savvy at all, it appears, I didn’t find this reply until hours later.)

She referred an EARLIER tweet I had made where I said, “I dislike this mindset that atheism is the worst thing that someone can jump to. “i knew a guy who did x, and in 3 yrs he was…ATHEIST!”” [I mention this tweet because, by the way, I do dislike that mindset], and she had replied:

well, from a christian point of view, you can see how it would be. also, your phone gives you too much grief!

Well, somehow, the Lord helped me connect the Christian point of view comment BACK to the comment from the Papacy about Lent and giving up text messaging and THAT’S how I know it’s from God. This certainly couldn’t be coincidence or that confirmation bias dealie. I am certain this is of the Lord.

…and it most certainly couldn’t be from the fact that I have the memory of a goldfish** and forgot I had tweeted about atheism once.

*not Public Display of Affection. Apparently, KPMG isn’t righteous enough to remember the Law of Chastity.

**Goldfish actually do have memories, I guess science has proven.

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2 Comments
  1. Weird mood, Andrew? 🙂

  2. it’s a much better one than yelling at my phone (which really can’t respond)

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