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They eventually become ATHEIST and make fun of EVERYTHING sacred

March 1, 2009

You know, I knew I shouldn’t have ever gotten involved in this, but I saw a post in my email feed for mormonism a long time ago (like…the beginning of the month) and it was about that familiar idea: people can leave the church but not leave it alone. And of course, the blogger kittywaymo insisted that all of the ex-mormons she knew was unhappy, spiteful, angry, depressed, and insisted upon regularly trying to bring happy, righteous Mormons down with them. After all, misery loves company.

I knew I shouldn’t have gotten involved…because I just have a private sense for internete trolling, but my better side prevailed against my skeptic side, and I tried to point out why many ex-Mormons do not leave the church alone. Quite simply, it’s a deep culture, so if they have been burned by that culture, they will deal with the wounds and blisters for a while. Some get over that faster than others.

Saying that ex-Mormons are unhappy is an attribution flaw. It’s not that leaving the church makes you unhappy (although there are some people who just do it wrong and mess up their lives…same with anything in life). Rather, these guys are already unhappy because of the church, so they leave it. They still struggle because they may have family and friends who are Mormon, or they have to see that the Mormon church, ever ubiquitous, fights against them or against their rights politically (I’m looking at you, Prop 8). Mormons still preach and proselytize and make themselves known, so you don’t “leave it alone” so easily, depending on what your reasons were in the first place.

I tried to present things simply, but I don’t think I really got through…It seemed that throughout, Kittywaymo still believed  all ex-mormons to be angry, spiteful and unsuccessful (even challenging all readers to present a CV of a successful ex-mormon, which is about the time I started to realize I was fighting a losing war!) or, even worse, that all exxies are anti-.

But in her latest comment (I’m unsure if I should comment again because…this ship is nearly sunk), she had much more interesting accusations.

1) Ex-mormons have no sense of humor and are particularly litigious

2) The Mormon Church will always make your life HAPPY and BETTER and leaving will always make you miserable and angry and demented.

3) In fact, these angry, miserable, loveless ex-Mormons will become…oh my goodness…ATHEISTS! and will make fun of EVERYTHING sacred!

4) Ex-Mormons are prejudiced against Jews, blacks, and yes, even gays! I need to read more of their trash about my race and realize that really, the Mormons have it right.

5) As a journalist, you know everything. So that’s why kittywaymo is Definitely Correct about exmormons and Mormons. I need to wait 20 years and get more journalist experience and understand the plain and simple truths, because now I’m too young (but kittywaymo was once there, so she understands!)

6) Don’t buy into exmo rhetoric! They are not anti-mo, but exmo rhetoric can turn you anti.

7) Ex-mos are lazy; they expect ENTITLEMENT. Most of them didn’t put a single thing into their testimonies, serving others, loving. 10 years of journalistic research shows they were caught up in sexual sin and dishonesty (a shoutout to Cr@ig too, I think)

I don’t know where she got the idea that I was going into journalism…and I don’t think she realizes that I’m one of the terrible ex-mormons she speaks of. But it’s clear, everyone…I need to stop being so naive about people that leave the Mormon Church.

…what is this i don’t even…

I don’t even know what to say.

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11 Comments
  1. Thing is, no matter how one-sided and unfair the caricatures, both of our camps seem to have no lack of shining individual examples supporting the caricatures.

  2. I know Seth, I know. That’s really what gets me, because even without her mentioned names, I KNOW the places kittywaymo is talking about when she talks about visiting exmormon forums.

    And really, for some of these, her descriptions are DEAD ON.

  3. I had no idea you were such a racist, litigous, unsuccessful, anti-Semitic, obsessive, spiteful atheist, Andrew.

  4. i’d sue you for libel with Seth as my witness, but libel is only for untrue accusations.

  5. Andrew,
    If you wanted to go into journalism you would do well, as you have an effective writing style.
    I was not sure you were an ex-mormon as I left that judgment on the fence.

    I should suggest that when making absolute statments like this kittywaymo seems to do, make sure you are not doing so in the heat of the moment, and be certian not to use absolute statments in a argument forum if you do not supply the information to back it up. (Accually I’ve been seeing a bunch of people making over overgeneralized absolute statments on-line latley)
    I prefer to use terms like “many” in place of (even an implied) “all.” An absolute statment only needs one false proof to negate it entirely. that is why I avoid the absolute statment in arguments.

    Good luck on what ever your future endevors are.

    From a current LDS to an Ex-LDS,
    God bless,
    -D

  6. “Actually I’ve been seeing a bunch of people making over overgeneralized absolute statements on-line lately”

    Lately?

    I thought overgeneralized absolutist statements were pretty much the norm for internet participation. When you get rational dialogue online, it’s a pretty rare and special thing.

  7. ditchu, thanks. If only I could transfer such effectiveness to my short stories.

    But really, that’s one of my points. You can know exmormons who you don’t even realize are exmormons, because they can be just like you in basically all the meaningful ways. They just don’t believe and you do. It doesn’t mean they are EVVVVILLLL or that they are mired in all kinds of lusts and sins or whatever. (Well, other than the sin of apostasy, which if I hear correctly, will bear some bitter fruits)

    I agree with your comments on absolute statements (although i won’t say I absolutely agree, for obvious reasons :)) But it is my hope that when some people might make absolute statements that life will have a way of humbling them through experiences that question those absolutes.

  8. Seth,

    Well, I guess I could have used the “lately” part to support my non-absoluteism… but it only recently dawned on me how much some (and how many) people use absolute statments. My observation tends to see the thinking as thus: if one uses an absolute statment it feels stronger than a relative statment, when in fact it provides an easier way to defete the statment. Thanks for pointing out my past oblivousness to absolute statments.

    Andrew,

    I know what you mean about short stories. I just cannot seem to “kill my babies” and still have something to write about… If you know what I mean. I write a few but cannot survive on the work, so I go to my day job as it is.
    BTW: You slaped a smile on my face with your responce about you agreing but not Absolutly…
    Thank you, (off the subject: do you consider yourself an Athiest, a Christian, a follower of another religion, or none of the above? )

    (no offence intended) God bless you all,
    -D

  9. re ditchu:

    I’m an atheist, but I guess as far as things go, I believe that atheism has a small a. It is not a religion, and in the end, I think there’s little you can tell from me about my atheism, because I am also a Cultural Mormon, and that’s just as much a part of my habits and personality. My goal is simply to be a reasonable person as well as I can, so I don’t think I need to tie myself to any particular philosophy to work on that.

  10. Andrew,
    Thank you for the honest answers, as it seems rare on-line to get strait forward answers to personal questions. I get the whole non-label thing.

    Again, thank you,
    -D

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