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This is what theists LITERALLY believe — atheists are ugly

January 23, 2009

That’s right. Not only do atheists have ugly souls, but they are ugly on the outside too. And it’s because they are ugly, lonely, social outcasts that they dabble with things like atheism. This is added to the great list of things that cause atheism. I’m not making this up, guys. Let’s read on:

Atheists are most likely to live alone.

This is not surprising. Atheists are less desirable sexual partners. I observed this once when I was living in Washington, DC, and I wandered by an atheist convention happening on the mall. The atheist were predominately male, and significantly uglier than average.

This is because ugly people become social outcasts, and social outcasts are more likely to be attracted to outcast movements like atheism, libertarianism, communism, etc.

* * *

Jay Fink writes:

If you are attractive and have a good social life you will generally not be interested in out of the mainstream groups or ideas. Why buck the status quo when it’s working in your interests?

Exactly my point!

The guy links to another blog entry, which I guess has the research behind this. What’s interesting is that blog tries to dispel any ideas that religion causes lower IQ  just because it correlates with it…I don’t know why Half Sigma’s writer tries to make leaps with whatever data he’s left with in this light. And throughout those comments…we get this just ravishing discussion on what might make Jews, Greeks, Armenians, etc., “smarter” than others. Mmm…the taste of scientific racism! (At least some posters buttress it with cultural expectations and other explanations. [and I guess some people make a…positive…shout out to Mormons as a good example of what European-descended people should be doing)

At some level, I want to say something  But at the m0st basic level, I just have one expression for this. You should expect this one by now:

Aw, I cant believe youve done this.

"Aw, I can't believe you've done this."

Of course, Mitt Romney could never be an atheist. Look at that face: definitely not a social outcast.

We atheists, agnostics, and nonbelievers need to rise up! We need to show that we can compete! We can get married right after our missions at an average age of like…22 and have 7 to 12 children too (on second thought…) We need to show that we are super hot and attractive and not socially shut-in nerds who have nothing better to do with our lives than blog in protest at the mischaracterization and mistrust we face! Europe; have more babies and become as a secular City Upon a Hill!

We should come up with our own examples of awkward facial expressions that highlight our professional and clean-cut good looks.

…but…I must request a leave of absence from this endeavor. After all, as a cynical, loner, introvert, schizoid atheist social outcast, I really have to get back to my Adult Swim TV shows…

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8 Comments
  1. Wow, that is nuts!!!

    This is not surprising. Atheists are less desirable sexual partners. I observed this once when I was living in Washington, DC, and I wandered by an atheist convention happening on the mall. The atheist were predominately male, and significantly uglier than average.

    What??? That is just crazy talking. I mean, it’s true that there are more male atheists than female, but there is absolutely no contest between the hotness of atheist guys compared to believers. In the same way that cute Mormon gals have been know to attract guys to the door of the church, those hot, hot atheist guys have been known to give the ladies reason to think twice about the whole god thing. It worked for me. ;) There’s no way I’d settle for a believer now.

    If you are attractive and have a good social life you will generally not be interested in out of the mainstream groups or ideas. Why buck the status quo when it’s working in your interests?

    Hello??? If you are attractive and have a good social life, you don’t go around slavishly following the crowd — you set trends and generally do whatever you damn well please. The above quote was obviously written by someone who’s not familiar with what it’s like to be attractive and have a good social life. ;)

  2. I was hoping you’d comment, c~. You’ve always got a relevant experience from LFAB to post.

    Sometimes I think, “hey guys, just go to Chanson’s site and basically read everything. I’ve got nothing new” lol.

  3. I don’t find atheist guys all that attractive…

    My goodness! They’re right!

  4. You’re not saying all theists believe this, right Andrew? Just this particular blogger, correct?

    Or even that all theists believe that atheists live alone (what about all those nuns and priests, oh wait…)

  5. aerin, of course not. Any time I “call” people out (if it can be called that), I refer only as far as the it applies to that person (and possibly persons who agree with them). But in a way, disclaimered and qualified titles just don’t get as much traffic as scandalous and salacious titles.

    I hope in the future I can reach new levels of making offensive generalizations.

    ^i’m joking. or am I?

    Seth R:

    we must inform the new president about this discovery!

  6. If you read the rest of my blog, you would know that I’m not a theist.

    I’m a seeker of the truth, but most people just can’t handle the truth.

  7. Haha, I knew this post would get back at me.

    I read more of your blog (much much after writing this article — I liked a lot of what I read, by the way, but then I guess I must also say I didn’t agree with everything as well), and I came to realize that you’re not a theist, of course. But what I had associated when I read such a post is that…I’ve heard it before. And I’ve heard it in a measure of theists trying to somehow “stick it to” atheists while at the same time getting atheism or atheists completely wrong. So, I just *had* to make a comment and unfortunately, that was a link that was most prominent.

  8. Sven Karlssen permalink

    Its true atheists are all ugly, especially the women, eeeeeh!
    I have yet to see at least an average looking atheist lol!!

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